6 Life Lessons By Getting Punched in the Face
“One time, she punched me in the face. It was awesome.” — Mean Girls
Wait. Hold up.
There are benefits in getting punched in the face? and…Did this guy just quote Mean Girls?
Yes, and hell yes. I did.
Funny enough, there are benefits of getting punched in the face. SIX, I will tell you!
Physically benefits? Oh, dear god. No.
There is absolutely no physical/medical benefit in getting your bell rung. If you can avoid getting punched in the face, please do. If not, bob and weave like you are Floyd Mayweather Jr.
In October 2018, I joined a boxing gym. I trained there for 2 hours a day, 3x a week. I sparred people who will forever be better than me at the “sweet science” of hit and not getting hit.
As a result, I lost 50 lbs and improved my health! Physically, boxing has been very rewarding.
But the most beneficial things that I got out of boxing were the life lessons. Especially, getting punched for the first time. Life lessons getting punched in the face, who knew?
1. You Are Not Made of Glass
“ Put your gloves on. You are sparring today.”
Wait. What?
I started training 2 months ago. Now I am going to exchange punches with someone?
“Okay. Let’s do it.” I said with false confidence.
I wore my sparring gear for the first time: head-gear, groin guard, mouth guard, and sparring gloves.
I went into my respective ring corner. My heart is racing. I never physically confronted someone before.
I see my opponent in the opposite corner. He is calm and collected. He is younger, taller, and has been training for the past 5 years. He has studied the science of hit and not get hit.
I keep repeating to myself, “I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.”
At the time, I didn’t even know what I could do. All I know is I was scared.
If you think I am going to pull off a Rocky miracle. Where I put up a good fight despite my lack of experience, you are gravely mistaken. This isn’t a movie. This is real life.
Getting My Butt Kicked (or Punched?)
The buzzer goes off. We touched gloves.
Having no sense of range, I am throwing punches without any technique. None of my punches were landing. I felt like I was shadow-boxing (shadowboxing: sparring with an imaginary opponent).
The only thing I was hitting is air…maybe.
My opponent, with his hands down, is seeing all the holes in my game. He is moving his body with ease. He is reading all my movements like a book.
I felt useless and incompetent. I felt like I was in a bad dream.
Thinking to myself,
“Damn it. I am horrible at this. Nothing is landing. Why am I even here?”
Boom! RIGHT CROSS.
I get hit with a clean right hand. My legs wobbled a little bit. I never got hit in the face before, let alone that hard.
I placed my hands up and attempted to land any punches that I can. Nothing landed. He effortlessly punched me as if I was his personal punching bag. It was an easy win for my opponent, every round for 4 rounds.
The sparring session ended.
We gave each other a sportsmanship hug. My sparring partner kindly gave me tips on how to handle myself next time.
My first sparring session was not a fun experience, but it was a very valuable one.
Getting Punched in the Face
Movies illustrate getting punched in the face like it is instant death. You see action stars punching the bad guys. The bad guys instantly drop to the floor like ragdolls or with one punch, a broken nose appears.
Due to that, I was terrified of getting punched. I did not want to feel the pain of fist to face.
That day, I got my ass kicked. I got punched in the face for the first time and many times that day.
The funny thing is, it didn’t hurt as nearly as I thought it would be. I learned…
Getting punched in the face doesn’t hurt. It is just really f*cking annoying.
So what happened that day?
- Did I get my ass kicked? Yes.
- Did I lose? Yes.
- Did I get humiliated? Yes.
- Did my pride get hurt? Yes.
But…
- Did I die?
- Did I experience something unrecoverable?
- Am I not able to see tomorrow?
- Am I going to stop training?
No. HELL NO.
Discovery:
I can take a punch. I can take damage without breaking. I am not fragile. I am not made of glass.
Life is going to hurt you. It is a fact.
Life is going to knock you down. It is inevitable.
Life is going to make you feel worthless. It is a test.
We all have endured hardships and struggles. They were/are painful. If you are reading this, it did not kill you.
Life is hard. Yet, you are still here. You being here is evidence that you have the opportunity to do more.
Through my first sparring session, I learned…
“If I can survive this, what more can I do?”
LESSON: Yes, Life can be tough. Know, you can be tough too.
2. Pain is Temporary, Constant, and Necessary
Everything about boxing is painful.
From fighting another human being to 500 situps. From your pride getting hurt to sheer exhaustion of trying to keep your hands up after 4 rounds on mitts.
It is all painful, but there are lessons found in pain.
Pain is Temporary and Constant
There is a dichotomy to pain:
Pain in the moment? “This too shall pass.”
Pain in Life? Present throughout.
- After 4 rounds on the mitts, I feel like passing out in the moment. But I get to rest well that night. This too shall pass.
- BUT we are going to train again tomorrow. Then do it again the next day, and the next day, and the next. Constant.
- Working on big projects at work, I feel frustrated and overwhelmed. Step by step, this too shall pass.
- BUT there will be a new project right after this one, and a new one after that, and a new one after that. Constant.
Immediate suffering is temporary. You can get through it. With time and effort, you can overcome it. Pain is temporary.
But make no mistake, more challenges are to come immediately after this one. This current challenge is training for the next challenge. Pain is constant.
The initial reaction to pain is to run away, avoid. Yes, unnecessary pain is to be avoided.
- Getting hit by a car.
- Touching a hot pain.
- Surrounding yourself with people you shouldn’t be hanging out with.
These are all obvious things to avoid doing. They damage your survival and well-being.
But to become a better human being? The pain of hard work and effort is necessary.
Pain is Necessary
- The pain of finishing a dreadful workout.
- The pain of leaving a toxic relationship even though you love them.
- The pain of having a financial budget at the expense of immediate pleasure.
- The pain of learning discipline.
These improve your life, but they do involve pain.
This pain is called sacrifice.
Sacrifice: “an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.” (Oxford Dictionary)
The pain of sacrifice is necessary to become a better individual. The suffering of now will be rewarded in the future.
Do not let the fear of enduring immediate pain halt your progress as a human being. You have the potential to be great.
“On the other side of suffering is Greatness.”- David Goggins (Former Navy Seal)
But what is “ greatness”?
To me,
Greatness is achieving victory. Victory, not over others, but of Self.
We are our greatest obstacle. We are the problems in our life. We are our worst enemy.
We are also our greatest asset. We are the solution to our problems in life. We are our greatest ally.
If being great was easy then everyone would be great. Pain is that dividing line.
How you perceive pain determines your life. It is “You vs You.”
Perception is everything.
If pain makes you bitter then you will become a bitter person. If pain makes you adaptable or teachable, you become a person who has unbounded potential.
“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”
-Muhammad Ali
There are no stories written about people who had never suffered. Stories, history for that matter, is about those who suffered and overcame.
LESSON: Pain can hinder you or improve you. Choose your perception.
3. Quitting is a Choice
After 2 hours of training, Coach requires us to end the day with sit-ups. The standard is 200 sit-ups. After that, you can go home.
One day, I was late to meet up with someone or go to some social event. I only did 100 sit-ups.
I tried to leave the gym early because I had an “excuse.” I dressed out of my gym clothes and gathered all my gear. I eagerly headed out the door.
Alright, maybe I was being dramatic. Maybe I misinterpreted his face. Maybe he was actually okay with me leaving early. Maybe he did not think too much of this immediately after. But I saw something on his face I will remember forever.
I saw the look of disappointment.
His voice said, “Do more next time.”
But his face said, “BE more next time.”
I quit when I could have done more. I quit when I was feeling a little bit uncomfortable. I quit because I was a little tired. I was a quitter that day.
The look that Coach gave me, it was haunting. The look was familiar.
It was familiar because it was a reminder of all my past failures with people.
It was the same face of disappointment from my past relationship. It was the same face of disappointment from my family. It was the same face of disappointment from my friends.
It was the same face of disappointment from all the people I let down because I decided,
“I don’t want to do this anymore because I don’t FEEL like it.”
I was a quitter. Period.
Never again. I made a vow that day.
“Every time you step into training, you will not quit. You will complete everything that is required of you and more. Only then, can you go home.”
Quitting is a choice. You choose to quit.
Quitting gives you nothing but one thing, knowing you are a quitter.
Always follow through on your word. Never stop until you finished what is required of you.
This mindset does not only apply to training. It applies to everyday life.
- When you start on a project, finish what is required.
- When you are in a healthy relationship, do everything you can for your partner.
- When you begin a workout, do every rep you said you would do.
Practice the integrity of your word.
“Do not rest when you are tired. Rest when you are done.”
I quit a lot of things in life. It was detrimental to my well-being. Quitting led my life into a spiral. I needed to change.
Be professional with others and be strict with yourself. Hold yourself to a high standard of integrity. Without integrity, who are we?
LESSON: The only time you truly lose is when you quit. When you quit, you lock in your losses. Hold yourself to a high standard of integrity.
4. Practicing Honesty
I lied a lot growing up.
I lied because I was insecure about myself. That is all that lying is, hiding your insecurities.
I lied to avoid confrontations. I lied to procrastinate the uncomfortable. I lied to avoid pain. I lied to hide.
When tested, your true character will always rise to the surface. Good or bad, your true character will be discovered.
If your character is based on lies, sooner or later, your lies will be revealed. They will be unraveled for the world to see. What does that say about your character? Nothing to be proud of, I can assure you.
Lies are habits and habits grow. Habits dictate your life. Living a life filled with lies is a life not living.
Maybe that is why I resorted to boxing subconsciously. I needed to combat this disease, the disease of dishonesty. I needed to beat out the ugliness of dishonesty through an activity of honesty.
Whether I am fighting in the ring or on the mitts keeping up with my coach, there is no room for lying. I have no choice, but to be honest.
You display your true colors when testing your limits, physically and mentally.
In boxing, you cannot pretend. You either are or you’re not.
- You are either a quitter or you’re not.
- You are either a fighter or you’re not.
- You either do your best or you don’t.
There is a big banner at my gym in big bold letters saying,
“PRACTICE NEVER LIES.”
No matter how much of a liar you are, it is impossible to lie in an environment like a boxing gym. Lies do not exist here.
Being surrounded by such honesty, it helped me become honest myself.
- When I lost my sparring match, it was honest.
- When I did not do my 200 sit-ups, it was honest.
- When I do mitts with my coach, I am honest.
- When I am exhausted, I am honest.
The more you surround yourself and act with honesty, you become honest yourself.
Today…
- With my family, I am honest.
- With my work, I am honest.
- With my relationships, I am honest.
- With myself, I am honest.
LESSON: No matter what you do, do it with honesty. Period.
5. Fear Never Goes Away
Like pain, fear is always present.
Life is terrifying. Anyone who isn’t afraid of Life hasn’t lived a full life yet.
As cowardly as this sounds, every time I go to the boxing gym’s parking lot, I become anxious.
“F*ck this sh*t. I do not want to do this. This is going to be awful. I am going to feel awful.”
Hearing the sentence, “Do you want to spar.” I want to run away.
I am willingly going into a place where people are training to take your head off. I am willingly going into a place where you are going to feel like dying on the floor. That is crazy!
No matter how many times I train, there is always a level of fear present.
Life is beautiful, lovely, fun, and all that jazz. I agree. Life can be awesome!
But Life is also dark, painful, and terrifying.
Life is scary, but we still need to live it. I still need to live it. You still need to live it.
So why freeze? Why panic? Why be scared?
We are scared because we do not want to get hurt. That is biological. It is our survival instincts kicking in.
Boxing taught me…
Fear will always be present, but what will you do in the face of fear?
Fear paralyzed me a lot growing up. Fear is the root of all my failures.
To be clear, it was not the presence of fear that failed me. I do not blame the situation(s) that caused me pain.
It was what I did with fear that failed me. I failed me. In failing myself, I failed others.
But fear, like pain, is a constant thing. You cannot control fear, but you can control yourself. How? Courage.
Fear is the opportunity to practice courage.
By no means is this an easy endeavor, to progress as an individual, to become better people, we need to be courageous. We need to dare. Dare to say, “I want to be better.”
“Whatever it is, in your situation, it’s the action that takes you past of no return. The second hand reaches twelve, the buzzer goes off. It’s time to jump, and when that happens, there’s only one thing to do. Jump.” — Brandon Webb and John David Mann (Mastering Fear: A Navy SEAL’s Guide)
Boxing provided me tools on how to deal with my fears. Whether it is time to fight another human being or time to leave a relationship, Life will be scary.
It is okay to be scared but do it anyway.
Do not fight your fears, let them be. Dive into your fears, survive your fears. Surviving your fears makes you braver.
The world needs brave people. World progress is dependent on individuals who survive their fears, not avoid them.
Bravery: To act, not without fear, but in spite of fear.
LESSON: You cannot erase fear, but you can be brave. The only time to be brave is when you are afraid. Dare to be brave.
6. The Most Important Questions to Ask Yourself
Daily, I ask myself two questions.
These two questions dictate anyone’s life direction. I believe they are the moral compass for living a good life.
The two questions:
“Who am I? More importantly, who do I want to be?”
These two questions are one must ask themselves all day, every day.
Answering those two questions determine how you present yourself today.
How you answer yourself today will affect you tomorrow. How you answer yourself tomorrow will affect next week. Weeks quickly turn into months, months turn into years, years turn into your life.
Before going into my boxing gym, I debate if I want to feel like crap for 2 hours straight or drive home?
Who am I? Who do I want to be?
Hitting the mitts, sweating an ocean, I cannot breathe. Thinking, “Should I quit now?”
Who am I? Who do I want to be?
Getting hit in the face and body, arms feeling like they weigh 50 lbs heavier. Should I step out of the ring now?
Who am I? Who do I want to be?
Ask yourself those questions, not only in the gym but in everyday life:
- Procrastinating at work or in school
- Struggling with your relationships
- Too tired to workout
- Cheating on your diet
- Being angry with others or yourself
- Feeling depressed about where your life is
Who am I? Who do I want to be?
Answering these questions, I am learning more about myself. Maybe I will never fully answer those questions. But I know for damn sure that I am closer than I was yesterday.
LESSON: Answer the important questions of “Who are you?” and “Who do you want to be?”
Takeaway
It is hard to imagine that I lived a life prior to boxing, knowing how much it has impacted my life in the past 1.5 years.
Boxing changed my life due to the lessons it taught me. As corny as it sounds, boxing saved my life.
Boxing saved my life of living like a coward. The coward is still here, but someone else is here too.
Someone who can be courageous, someone who can have integrity, someone who can be better than he once was.
No, I am not telling you to join the gym to get hit in the face as much as possible. Brain damage is real. I have experienced punch drunkenness and I know I lost a few brain cells in the process. So if you are interested in participating in combat sports, join with caution.
What I am trying to say is…
Life will punch you in the face. Remember you can punch back. You are not as weak as you feel, and you can be better than you were yesterday.
With patience and effort, change is not only possible but inevitable.
-Jacob A.
Originally published at https://buildyoulifestyle.com on March 9, 2020.
